On the Radio
by jespah
Summary: They never said your name, but I knew just who they meant. Hoshi and T'Pol go through Tripp's things and are both affected, but in different ways.


_Someone found a letter you wrote me, on the radio_

_And they told the world just how you felt_

_It must have fallen out of a hole in your old brown overcoat_

_They never said your name_

_But I knew just who they meant._

– Donna Summer (On the Radio)

=/\=

The captain sighed. "I, I know it's early. But the Tucker family really, uh, they are going to need for us to do this."

It was a meeting of the senior staff. To Captain Archer's right was T'Pol, the Vulcan First Officer, and then, next to her, was the pilot, Ensign Travis Mayweather. Across from him was Ensign Aidan MacKenzie, who was filling in while the Tactical Officer, Lieutenant Malcolm Reed, was on paternity leave. Next to him was the MACO CO Major Strong Bear Dawson, who everybody called Bud. To Dawson's right was the Chief Medical Officer, a Denobulan named Phlox, and then the Communications Officer, Ensign Hoshi Sato. And next to her, feeling very lost and more than a little weirded out by the whole experience was the second at Engineering, Ensign José Torres.

"Uh, let me know what to do, sir," volunteered Torres.

"Here's what I would like," began Jonathan Archer, "I need for someone to go into Commander Tucker's quarters and, and go through his personal effects. Someone will also need to go through his personal logs and any electronic files."

Hoshi looked up. "I suppose I should do the logs." Her voice was tired. Tripp Tucker's end was all too recent.

"I am the logical choice for attending to the Commander's personal effects," T'Pol stated flatly.

"I don't think either of you need to do this alone," the captain offered. "In fact, I insist on it. You both need a, a buddy."

The Vulcan eyebrow was raised. "Starfleet regulations do not require such an arrangement. It was not necessary for the other deaths we have experienced as a crew."

"That may be so," allowed the captain, "but I don't care. I can see how affected everyone is." He did not add, but he did think – _even you_.

"When Crewman Cutler passed, this was not the protocol that was followed. The same is true regarding the death of Major Hayes," T'Pol insisted.

The doctor looked up at the mention of Liz Cutler's name. "I, I have to say, if I had had a, a buddy, I think it would have helped at the time."

"Then it's settled. Hoshi, T'Pol, just pick someone from the senior staff. Dismissed."

As they left, José approached Hoshi. "Uh, do you want me to help you? 'Cause I think it might be good if I were learning what to do until we get back to space dock. But if you need me, tell me, okay?"

He was a big galoot of a guy, the tallest person on the ship, and he had been thoroughly unexpectedly thrown into the role. Fortunately, they would be mothballing the ship soon. He was not supposed to be getting a promotion, and he looked a little lost. He had also asked her out fairly recently. "I, uh, that's okay," Hoshi assured him.

"Can I see you later then? I mean, it's Valentines' Day and all."

"Maybe not this evening, sorry. I, I just can't right now. This was just a tough day, okay?"

"Okay. But you'll tell me if I can do anything for you, okay?"

"Sure."

He departed, and Travis came over. "Let me be the one to help you, all right?"

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

=/\=

_Oh, I was so surprised and shocked, and I wondered too_

_If by chance you heard it for yourself_

_I never told a soul just how I've been feeling about you_

_But they said it really loud_

_They said it on the air_

_On the radio whoa oh oh_

_On the radio whoa oh oh_

_On the radio whoa oh oh_

_On the radio whoa oh oh now, now_

– Donna Summer (On the Radio)

=/\=

As T'Pol left the meeting, Phlox approached her. "You heard what the captain said. I offer my services to assist you in any manner."

"I shall … think about it. Thank you."

He followed her a bit, and then, once they were alone in a hallway, quietly mentioned, "It is not unheard-of for even a Vulcan to have an emotional reaction. No one will think the less of you."

T'Pol looked away. "I need to fulfill the captain's request." She hurried away as Phlox watched her go.

The Denobulan shook his head. "I wish you would let at least one of us assist you. As the captain said, you need not do this alone."

=/\=

_Don't it kinda strike you sad when you hear our song?_

_Things are not the same since we broke up last June_

_The only thing that I wanna hear is that you love me still_

_And that you think you'll be comin' home real soon_

_Whoa oh yeah yeah_

_(It made me feel proud when I heard him say)_

– Donna Summer (On the Radio)

=/\=

The Vulcan entered Tripp Tucker's quarters and the door swished closed behind her. She stared at the bed, the site of a few evening encounters. There was a desk with a chair – he had written her the occasional love note, although she had found them impractical, and more than a little strange.

There was a closet. She opened it, and there were not only an extra uniform and a full-dress uni, but also some civilian outfits. There was an old-fashioned leisure suit, worn as a gag during a disco party a few years previously. T'Pol recalled that evening, as the captain had been briefly compromised by some form of food poisoning. She had been in command, and had not joined in the festivities. The occasion had been a docking with the _NX-02_, the _Columbia_. Captain Archer, as she recalled, had spent the night with the captain of the other vessel, Erika Hernandez. There had been a few other shufflings of persons – Crewman Patti Socorro had visited Commander Derek Kelby, and the _NX-01_'s chef, William Slocum, had apparently spent time with someone on the other ship, too. It had been July of 2154. Right about the start of her failed marriage, to another.

There had also been music and, for a while beforehand, the nighttime Communications Officer, Ensign Chandler Masterson, had piped in some of the music to the intercom. It had been an assault on her highly sensitive ears.

But the closet! It was another assault for, amidst the Hawaiian shirts and the absurdly anachronistic suit and the uniforms there was an invisible thing. It was his scent.

They had not been intimate for years, and it had sometimes been difficult to see him in the starship's hallways. He had briefly transferred to the _Columbia_ in order to make things easier. But they had not been any easier. And Jonathan Archer had needed him. So Tripp had returned.

T'Pol felt herself getting unsteady. Instead of sitting on his bed, or at his desk, she got onto the floor. She sat there for a moment, trying to center herself.

There had been 2159. Ten humans had been pulled from the ship. Two had been civilians. The remainder had been members of the crew. And they had been paired up, forced to breed for the Zetal, a species that had wanted to whisk them away to the Andromeda Galaxy and force them to play war games. Because there was only a need for humans, she was not one of the ten who had been plucked. But Travis was one. Hoshi was another. The captain was a third. Lieutenant Reed had also been grabbed, as had been a pilot, who was gone, and an engineer who had left after she'd gotten married and a security crewman who was now on the night shift.

And the tenth one had been Tripp.

He'd been paired with Hoshi. And it was obvious, after they were returned that he had been affected. But Ensign Sato was less affected, and she had rebuffed his continued advances. For Reed and one of the civilians, things had worked out in a positive way, but not for Tripp and Hoshi.

T'Pol did not experience schadenfreude at learning of that. But she was a bit relieved all the same. Still, it seemed that that ship, as it were, had sailed.

But then there had been a time in 2160, when Hoshi had been injected with a kind of alien aphrodisiac. Nearly all of the men on the _Enterprise_ – even Dr. Phlox – had become enamored of her. Except for a few gay crew members, she had been in danger of being sexually assaulted. Tripp had been in the thick of that, as well, even though Hoshi had had a boyfriend, the new Quartermaster, Ted Stone.

But more recently, in late October and early November of the prior year, Tucker had somehow been briefly removed from the ship. When he had returned, he had been distraught, and had sought out T'Pol's company.

She had listened to his troubles but nothing else had happened. That had been two months prior to his death, which had been on New Year's Day of 2162.

As T'Pol remembered these seemingly disconnected events, she began rocking slowly. There was a lump forming in her throat. She trembled.

She looked around. There was a small figurine of Frankenstein. There were the clothes. There were some paper books, including _Gulliver's Travels_. There was an old-fashioned shined diving helmet. There was a framed photograph of Tripp with his sister, Elizabeth, who had died in the Xindi attack. There was even a gag fake mouse.

She struggled to her feet and spun around on her heel, staring at Charles Tucker III's possessions. "_Things_!" she yelled, and then raised her voice even more. "_Things! Things! Things_!"

She stamped her feet and spun again, dizzy with it. Drunkenly, she lurched against a wall and then smacked it with her hands, over and over again. "Things!" she repeated, loudly. "_Things!_"

The door swished open. It was Major Dawson, a big fellow. "Commander?"

"_Things!_" The Vulcan hollered again. "_Things! All these are; they're things! They are things!"_

"Yes, yes," he gave off an assuring tone, not understanding what she meant. "Yes, there are a lot of, um, things in here."

"_You don't understand_!" she had thoroughly lost her composure. "_Things! These are; they're things! Things!_" She hit the wall again, and dented it a bit.

"Commander, please …."

"_Dawson_!" she shrieked, and started sobbing. Awkwardly, he put an arm around her shoulders, but she wriggled free.

"Commander …."

"_Dawson, B-Bud_," she moaned, crying, "_All that are left are, are things. He's gone! Tripp is gone! My t'hy'la! He is gone_!"

"Shh, shh," he enveloped her in a hug although they didn't know each other well at all. He was an older guy, and even though he'd been the MACO's CO for over a year, they had never been close. He had never, ever seen her this way. He pushed her away so that she could face him. "Listen, listen, listen, all right?"

She nodded, her movements exaggerated by her pain. "Listen, listen, listen," he repeated. "I, I've been in the military for a long time. Forever, some might think. And I've seen my share of lost, lost people. It, it never gets easier. And, and I don't know how, how Vulcans deal with it all. But for humans, well, this is how we do it. It's hard and it's painful but we, we try to be together. We try to, to listen. We offer up words that are awkward and sometimes seem trivial. And these, these things. You're right; they're just things. But you'll find, and Tucker's parents will find that, too, that these things, they're all that's left. So you grab a hold of the, the things, because there's," his voice lowered to a hoarse whisper, "they're all that's left."

She thrust herself into his arms and he held her, patting her arm a little as she wept.

"I won't tell anyone," he vowed to her.

Her lower lip trembled and she looked at him. "How can, how can I ever repay your, your kindness?"

"Shh, just, just have a good life. It's all you can do. It's all anybody can do."

=/\=

_You couldn't find the words to say it yourself_

_And now in my heart I know I can say what I really feel_

_'cause they said it really loud_

_They said it on the air_

_On the radio whoa oh oh_

_On the radio whoa oh oh_

_On the radio whoa oh oh_

_On the radio_

– Donna Summer (On the Radio)

=/\=

Hoshi clicked a few times on her work console to transfer data from Tripp's personal logs and electronic files to her own PADD. There were a number of files that were protected by encryption. She could break them – she was that skilled – but it seemed unwise, and overly intrusive. Plus the captain would, for the most part, not approve. She decided to leave those and ask about them later.

But there were other files, and those needed to be put into some sort of order, and given some form of coherence. She thought about working on them while on duty but decided against it. It seemed foolish to do so during normal business hours.

By the time the second shift Communications Officer, Maryam Haroun, came to relieve her, she was ready to take care of things. Hoshi got up and motioned to Travis. "Let's, um, let's get some dinner and then, uh, take care of things," she suggested as they left the Bridge together.

As they sat together in the cafeteria, Hoshi picked at her food. "Are you okay?" Travis inquired.

"'Course not. It's funny. I think back to 2159, you remember the Zetal?"

"You know I do. It, well, it wasn't an easy time for anyone."

"It's how Lili and Malcolm ended up together. And now she's had his son," Hoshi remarked.

"Well, yeah, but most of the rest of it didn't end up quite so well. Jenny Crossman, er, Crossman-Ramirez, she was kinda furious with me," Travis reminisced.

"And then there was, there was me and Tripp," Hoshi stated. "He, did you know he proposed to me afterwards?"

"I had no idea."

"Well, he did. And I felt as weird about it as I guess anybody can. I said no – I mean, how were we supposed to work together, after, after all that?"

"And then you went out with Ted Stone, and now you're going out with José," Travis mused.

"You've been paying attention to that?"

"Only because I care about what happens to you. Look, I met a girl pretty recently. And I can tell; I can feel it, that Ellen's _the one_. Yanno what I mean?"

"Of course I do. And Travis, that's wonderful!" Hoshi paused. "I guess I've been floundering, kinda lurching from one relationship to the next."

"Not necessarily. We're both young. It kinda makes sense that you would experiment in that area."

"I suppose. But, you see, when it comes to Tripp, it, well, it's not unrequired love," Hoshi explained. "It's more," she sighed, "I guess the best way to put it is; _it's all this unrealized potential_. Not so much potential to be with me, per se. Rather, it's lost potential in every area. He didn't even make it to forty-two. He never made it to marriage or parenthood, except in that weird kick-back in time, which I don't think really counts anyway. I mean, this is our reality, right? This is what we're dealing with."

"You're right," Travis agreed. "Look, I'm finished, and I'm guessing you're not gonna eat much. How do you feel about going someplace, I dunno, maybe the Observation Lounge, and taking care of business?"

"Yeah, let's go."

=/\=

_If you think that love isn't found on the radio_

_Well tune right in you may find the love you lost_

_'cause now I'm sitting here with the man I sent away long ago_

_It sounded really loud they said it really loud_

– Donna Summer (On the Radio)

=/\=

The Observation Lounge was empty, except for the two of them. "How do you wanna get started?" Travis asked.

"Well, there are restricted files. We won't bother with them, I figure. It's stuff like his will, and anything that's tactical, that sorta thing. It's funny; when I was recruited, one of the first things I was told was to make out a will. And it seems so odd when you're only twenty-one, like I was at the time. It feels impossible. And then you get out here, and, well, you know, you realize that you're not gonna live forever."

"Definitely not. So what's in there that isn't restricted?"

"Some of the logs aren't. Plus there are some mail files and their attachments."

"Why don't we start small," he suggested. "Maybe just the mail files and their attachments."

"Huh, okay." She clicked around as he looked out a viewing portal.

"This one's got a big attachment," she stated.

"When is it from?"

"July of 2154. So I was turning 25. I, I know this isn't about me. It's funny what you think of at a time like this."

"It's okay; there's no need to apologize. What does the note say?"

"It's from Chip Masterson. It just says, _here you go_."

"What about the attachment?"

"It's an extension I don't recognize – _mbf2_." She clicked open her communicator. "Yeah, Chip? Can I ask you a question?"

"Huh?" Chip Masterson yawned, as she had just roused him out of a sound sleep.

"Oh, damn. I'm sorry. I forgot you'd be sleeping now."

"Um, that's all right. Just give me a sec to get my bearings. Is something wrong?"

"No, it's just my own curiosity," Hoshi explained, "I've got a big file with an _mbf2_ extension. Any idea what that is?"

"Ha, that's a set of music files. When is it from?"

"July of 2154."

"It's from the disco party. You remember when we had a little fraternizing with the _NX-02_? As I recall, Chef Slocum and a few other people fraternized _a lot_."

"I remember now. So if I add the file to my PADD and set it to music mode, it'll play them?"

"It'll open the list first, so that you can pick and choose what you might wanna listen to. Uh, can I go back to sleep now?"

"Sure, and I'm sorry I woke you. When you finish shift, make sure to finish a half an hour early, okay? I'll make it up to you by relieving you a half an hour early."

"Thanks," he yawned, "Masterson out."

Hoshi clicked open the music program on her PADD and dragged the unknown file to the application. As Chip had promised, a list was brought up.

_Alicia Bridges – I Love the Night Life_

_The Trammps – Disco Inferno_

_The Bee Gees – More Than a Woman_

_Andrea True Connection – More, More, More!_

_Silver Convention – Fly, Robin, Fly_

_Patrick Hernandez - Born To Be Alive_

_Thelma Houston - Don't Leave Me This Way_

_Lipps Inc. - Funky Town_

_Van McCoy - The Hustle_

_The Bee Gees – Night Fever_

_Kool & the Gang - Celebration_

_Gloria Gaynor - I Will Survive_

_The Weather Girls - It's Raining Men_

_Michael Jackson - Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough_

_Lobo – Me and You and a Dog named Boo_

_Melanie – Brand New Key_

_The Captain and Tennille - Love Will Keep Us Together_

_Commodores - Brick House_

_Tavares - It Only Takes a Minute_

_Donna Summer – On the Radio_

_La Flavour - Mandolay_

_Earth Wind & Fire - Let's Groove_

_K.C. & the Sunshine Band - That's the Way I Like It_

_Village People - YMCA_

_The Bee Gees – Stayin' Alive_

_Chic - Le Freak_

_Rick James - Super Freak_

_Tavares - Heaven Must Be Missing an Angel_

_Vicki Sue Robinson - Turn the Beat Around_

_Barry White - Can't Get Enough of Your Love_

_Hues Corporation - Rock the Boat_

_Sister Sledge - We Are Family_

_Diana Ross - Love Hangover_

_Kool & the Gang - Ladies Night_

_A Taste of Honey - Boogie Oogie Oogie_

_Donna Summer - Last Dance_

"Holy cow," Travis exclaimed, looking over her shoulder, "Isn't that _every_ song Chip played that night?"

"Probably." She scanned the list. "It's, it's in the middle of the list."

"What is?" he asked.

"That, that song. Travis, this, oh, man, it was before the Zetal, before all of that stuff. And it was, man oh man, it was long before that, but it was after, it was right after T'Pol married Koss. God, that damned song!"

"What are you saying, Hoshi?"

"He, he asked me to dance. And I didn't think anything of it at the time. It was a lark, a bit of fun. Even Malcolm loosened up – hell, Malcolm was the one telling me to get everybody together, and he was even the one getting people interested in dancing lessons."

"That was kinda out of character for him."

"Well, I think he was a little on the make then. But Tripp – oh man! He asked me to dance, and we did, and it was one of those songs that start off slow, and then it goes faster and then it fades out at the end. It's, I guess I never really saw it that way before, but it's almost like a metaphor for, for other things. Um, you know," she looked down.

"Yeah, I suppose so. Which song was it?"

"This one," she pointed to _Donna Summer – On the Radio_.

"I don't remember that one at all," Travis admitted.

"It's funny, but it's these kinds of little, trivial things that really hit you in the gut. Those are the things that make you remember somebody. That make you miss them."

"Here," he motioned to her and she gave him her PADD. He clicked a bit and the music started to play. "May I have this dance?"

"I, I guess so." Donna Summer's voice filled the Observation Lounge.

=/\=

_On the radio whoa oh oh_

_On the radio whoa oh oh_

_On the radio whoa oh oh_

_On the radio whoa oh oh_

_On the radio whoa oh oh_

– Donna Summer (On the Radio)

=/\=

They were almost at Earth a few days later. Hoshi and José walked down the halls together. "So I'll contact you in a few days, okay?" he asked.

"Sure," she replied, "and we can go sightseeing in Sausalito." Bud Dawson walked by and smiled at them.

"You got it." José looked both ways in the hallway, making sure no one could see, and kissed her quickly before heading off to Engineering.

Hoshi made her way to the Bridge. Captain Archer looked up when the doors swished open. "Almost home," he declared. "Hang on a second. Aidan, take command briefly."

"Yes, sir," replied the tall Tactical Ensign, striding over to the Captain's Chair as Travis piloted.

Captain Archer said, "Commander T'Pol, Ensign Sato? Come see me in my Ready Room for a moment." The two women filed in after him.

Once the door was shut, Porthos, the captain's pet beagle, looked up from a bit of rawhide he was chewing. "I wanted to thank you both," the captain stated, "I heard from the Tucker family and they greatly appreciate all that both of you did. You, well, you made it easier for them to piece together a few of the ending bits of Tripp's life. I know it could not have been easy for either of you."

"It was all right," stated the Vulcan flatly.

"I got through it okay, sir," Hoshi added.

"I know," Jonathan replied, "but this is me you're talking to. We've all known each other for a while, and I know what happened, with both of you and Tripp. He was a close friend of mine, and I know he was fond of both of you. I can't speak for what goes on behind closed doors, but I know that he cared. He was not the kind of person who just loved 'em and left 'em. Even keeping in touch with Ah'len – even though her child turned out not to be his – that was one of the things he did that nobody ever knew about."

He looked at both of them and sighed. "I can't tell either of you how to feel, or what to think. And I know that the Earth press is going to be pretty intrusive. But in the meantime, I hope you'll at least talk to each other. You haven't been. I can't force you to. But I think it might be good for both of you. I want you to understand – when I suggested a buddy; I was specifically suggesting that the two of you talk together about this. I suppose I was too subtle. I don't know."

He turned to leave. "Take a few minutes, at least for right now. You really should talk." He left the Ready Room and retook command.

Hoshi turned to T'Pol as soon as the door closed. "I don't know what to say."

"Perhaps silence is the best response."

"I'm not affected like I'm sure you are. It's not that I don't care. But I know it must be different for you." she paused for a moment. "Commander – uh, T'Pol – I know we don't talk much. But we had a little bit in common, you and me. Let me know if you ever want to talk. But I warn you, I scarcely know what I could possibly tell you about Tripp that you don't already know, or feel."

"It, it is all right," T'Pol stated.

"T'Pol," Hoshi looked the Vulcan in the eye, "you will love again. I can guarantee you that."

"It, it hardly seems possible."

"It _is_. And when you do, you'll remember him, as the captain said, _fondly_. Here." She clicked her PADD over and transferred the big music file to T'Pol's own PADD. "This is a little bit of what made him tick as a human. Music can really bring you back to a particular time. And it can even heal you. He saved all of this, from when you got married to Koss. Most of this isn't exactly poetry or profound. But I still think it can give you some insights. He was more affected than I suspect you ever knew."

T'Pol scanned the list. "He never said it, but I think I know what he truly meant."

=/\=

_On the radio, radio, radio_

– Donna Summer (On the Radio)


End file.
